


Dear My bullies

by Hierarchy_is_Anarchy (orphan_account)



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Dear my bullies, Gen, Letters, Panic Attacks, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28431180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Hierarchy_is_Anarchy
Summary: A letter from me to my bullies. Just need to vent somewhere.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Dear My bullies

Dear my bullies

Why me? There was another girl, yet you befriended her. 

Was it how I spoke? Did I look weird in my uniform? Was it because I was ugly? Was it because I was too friendly? Was it because I was dull? I asked myself those questions and like a cloud, I changed myself. Not my appearance but my personality. I tried my best to act like you but it never worked. Then like a broken toy, you discarded me and were pleasant at best. I was offended! You never apologized, I would even accept a sh*tty one too. You isolated me, you scarred me, you ripped off diary of a wimpy kid and everyone who touched me became “infected”. You called me ebola and in the end you said it was a joke. Is my mental health a joke? Am I joke? Is everything a joke?

I got paranoid. I developed anxiety. On the days my anxiety was the worst, I would silently cry myself to sleep. I never had the chance to practice my social skills, so I started acting how the tv characters acted, to try to make friends. It never worked. Those memories keeps me awake at night. There is this silent voice, weaselling through, saying “no one will miss you if you offed.” I turned to art and writing to express my turmoil. I drew fights between good and bad. White and black. Black, white and grey. People became scared because I can predict what position a person will fall to if they jumped off a building. They became scared because of how well I can describe a murder. They do not understand, writing is an outlet for me. Drawing is an outlet for me.

I pity your children. For when the day comes, your child runs home sobbing about how they were being mocked. I wonder what you will do. Will say “it’s just a joke” like you said to me? Will you say “kids are cruel” like my parents? I do know, you cannot say “I feel you” or “I was once in your shoes” without lying. I hope your children will never understand the pain you put me through.

But all things considered, thanks. You made me stronger, led me on a more creative path and gave me a weakness in case I tried to take over the world

E.S

**Author's Note:**

> I was severely bullied for 2(?) years and those 2 years are slightly repressed. I cannot remember a thing in grade 3 except key objects (for example a cake, I looked back on pictures and turns out there was a party). I cannot remember what the class looked like, who was in my class etc. In the 4th grade I cannot remember September to late February. This does not affect my day to day life but it has given me slight anxiety, to the point I will have anxiety attacks and hyperventilation. 
> 
> My letter is basically a rant and it will be closure for me. I hope that, if you ever were bullied your experience is more pleasant then mine.


End file.
